There have been reports in Big City of a creature, made almost entirely of desks roaming the sewage treatment plant. One of our reports out on the field has managed to capture this image displayed above. It is the belief of many that the sewage treatment plant has in some way wronged this creature who now wishes to destroy the livelihood of nearly 65 employees. The owner has issued a statement declaring that they have done nothing to irritate the desk creature, but sources say it was the owner himself who created the creature by carelessly discarding the desks. The creature has not been available to make a statement, but our team is working tirelessly to get you the news you need. In the meantime we urge listeners to not anger any formerly living objects. It may result in the resurrection of said objects.

This picture depicts the German Luftwaffe using what seems to be a conduit of power linking to Larkeenan, being used to power central Germany. It goes without saying the effects this may have on the war may be catastrophic if Germany is allowed to keep a weapon of this scale. Allied forces have begun bombing raids on all industrial targets in an effort to cut off Germany’s connection to the ancient evil. German papers have since denied the allegations and claim the photo is a hoax in response to questions asked regarding their relation to the Dark Lord Larkeenan. It’s not unfounded to believe the Germans may be harnessing this power as it is worth noting Germany has lost over 40% of their coal power plants in the past 6 weeks. Experts urge Germany to destroy the conduit themselves to prevent Larkeenan making a return to the mortal realm.

Reports have been heard of a new virus going around TF2 community servers. It’s unclear at this time who may be responsible for these attacks, but it seems that this program is infecting populated community servers and attaching to player computers in order to spread to more servers. At this time it seems that people playing on community servers are the only ones affected by this and it is advised that until Valve resolves this issue, players should remain on casual. Some players believe this is a new update pushed by Valve in order to bring more players to casual. Although this has not yet been proven, we have reason to believe Valve is not involved with these current events as they have not released a statement to the general public. It is more likely that these current events are retaliation for the ban waves in prior months.

There have been reports in Big City of a creature, made almost entirely of desks roaming the sewage treatment plant. One of our reports out on the field has managed to capture this image displayed above. It is the belief of many that the sewage treatment plant has in some way wronged this creature who now wishes to destroy the livelihood of nearly 65 employees. The owner has issued a statement declaring that they have done nothing to irritate the desk creature, but sources say it was the owner himself who created the creature by carelessly discarding the desks. The creature has not been available to make a statement, but our team is working tirelessly to get you the news you need. In the meantime we urge listeners to not anger any formerly living objects. It may result in the resurrection of said objects.